Forgive Me Father by Alina Tarango

Ashamed. That’s how I was feeling as I sat on the cold, hard, mat in my jail cell. I just couldn’t believe it! What was I thinking? All I wanted was to have amazing, new things like all my friends had. Jewelry, make-up, clothes, purses, shoes. My friends and all the girls at school seemed to have it all, well, besides me. Girls at my school walked around wearing the latest fads, while I went around in hand-me-downs. I even worked a part time job to make extra money, while my friends went to the movies and went shopping. It just didn’t make sense! Most of the kids at my school lived in the same neighborhood, and our parents worked at similar jobs. How were all my friends getting incredible things, while I had to work hard for everything I had? Well in the end, all I got was a concrete bed, a roll of toilet paper to lay my head on, and a mark on my permanent record. Was it worth it?

As I sat in my jail cell, I thought about what had gone wrong, and how terribly disappointed my parents would be with me. I replayed the past four hours in my head, wondering why I felt the need to have everything my friends had. I had spent one of my few days off from work wandering around the mall looking for an outfit for my date that I was supposed to be on right this minute. I wasn’t having any luck until I came to the last store and saw it! There it was -the perfect outfit! Everything about it was just right: the perfect shade of blue, it was the style that was in right now, and it fit perfectly! As I walked up to the check out counter, I glanced at the tag to look at the price, and my heart sank: $137.00. The red numbers looking up at me almost made me cry. There was no way I could afford to buy something like this. As I stood there losing all hope, some of my friends from school walked in. They started grabbing shoes and shirts, strolling off back into the dressing rooms. One of my friends passed by me and said, “Wow, what’s up with you? You look as if your life is about to end!” I told her about the amazing date I was supposed to be going on tonight and how I had found the perfect outfit, but that there was no way I could afford it. She looked at me as if I was crazy and said, “So what? Just take it.”

“Just take it?” I said. “What do you mean?”

She dragged me toward the back where the dressing rooms were located and started telling all the other girls about how I was worrying about the silly little dress I was holding in my hands.

The other girls laughed and said, “Where have you been? All you have to do is put it on under your other clothes, or stuff it in your bag, and walk right on out of the store.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Were they being serious? I could never do something like that. What was wrong with them?

As I sat there watching my friends trying on different outfits and watching those outfits disappear into who knows where, I just couldn’t resist. The temptation was there, the dress was calling out to me, and I already knew what I was about to do. As I went into the dressing room and put on the dress and then put my own clothes on over it, I could feel the sweat start to trickle down my neck. Was I really about to do this? All I had to do was walk right on out; through the racks of clothes, through the doors, past the food court, and out the front doors of the mall.Easy - right? I started walking towards the door, trying to look as innocent as possible. Almost there -Yes! I made it, I’m out, and I did it!

“Excuse me, Ma’am,” was the next thing I heard. I looked up eyeing the sales lady as she asked me to come back in the store with her. Well that was it. I watched my friends walk out of the store in a hurry while the cop put the tight handcuffs on me. How humiliating.

So here I sit, thinking about what a fool I am for doing something as silly as stealing a stupid dress for a stupid date. After sitting on my hard mat for a couple of hours, I didn’t even care anymore about the humiliation or the mark on my permanent record. What hurt me the most was looking at my father’s face through the bars of the jail cell and seeing the deep, sadness in his eyes as he looked back at me and shook his head.